Of relationships...Random Talk.

Being on leave saw me take a break from my blog and was happy to see the stats go up even in my absence. Thank you my silent readers :) And it feels good to go back to work and find undone stuff that were 'waiting for me' since you are assured that your absence is felt thus job is secure.

I spent my leave volunteering in the church, yes, I didnt go on no holiday, or laze around, or just visit. This didnt go down too well with people around me and they are now convinced that I have joined a cult lol. They think I'm crazy. They say '' you take this Jesus thing too seriously''. Well I don't know but Christ took me pretty seriously when He died for me on that cross.

They say an idle mind is the devil's workshop and at first I must admit I did it as sort of a destruction from getting down and dirty.  But as the days went by I found myself enjoying and I have never felt fulfilled like I did this past month. Maybe I heard my calling, you know that still small voice from God, telling me that that is what I oughta do. I didn't have those crunchy mornings thinking oh not again, or stressed out or anything. I am not saying that I love it easy but yeah, It was FULFILLING.

My highlight though was trying to re-build my relationship with my aunt. So I have an aunt who is like a mother to me, she took over the mothering role ever since my mum was unwell, and whenever I am on leave or over the weekends I make a point of visiting her. Two hitches though, she lives on the other side of town and two you just cannot visit her empty handed! So you have to really plan, I mean really, before you make the visit. I kept thinking am I not supposed to be super excited just by the thought of visiting her. Well not really infact I get depressed! I went through a program however in the recent past that revealed to me how my relationship with her has been based on give and take that is why it is so strained and so I decided to build a real relationship based on nothing. You realize though that it is easier to just visit someone with gifts, small talk here and there and hit the road after like 30 minutes and your visit will be felt because of what you have given!

Okay so I visited her without calling her. She had gotten wind from my loud mouth sister that I was working in church while on leave and apparently was convinced that  I had joined a cult and was worried that I had joined one of the plant-a-seed-churches. So on this material day I show up at her door, well she is old, like really old so you are sure to find her. When I arrived she wasn't there, so I called her and she had taken her walk. Since it was my first day of 'building the nothing-based relationship' thing with her I hadn't carried anything!

Yes not even a packet of milk. I was standing there with just my purse like a pole!. She asked with concern, did you come alone? I am like yes. Um have you forgotten anything outside? I am like no I came like this. (read empty-handed). Silence. Then she went like are you okay? I am like yes. Long silence again. Then she starts the ranting, I would have made you tea but there is no milk, (trying to guilt me), I was not moved so I said its okay aunty we will just take black. Silence again. Then, 'I don't think there is sugar you know me I don't take sugar'. I was like okay we will just take water and got up to put some in the glass.

Then she started the usual small talk, who is pregnant again, who did what, who did not do what...bla bla bla. After a while, I got up to take my leave, usually when I am about to leave, I hand her something 'for sugar', not this time though. I said okay bye, she said bye, I said  see you soon, she said bye again. And I left. No sooner had I left than the call came through. Her: once again are you okay? me: 'yes I am fine, I came to visit you and I am happy you are okay, can we please just leave it at that aunty?' Then she finally let it out! 'I am told you were working in church, have they taken all your salary? you know maybe they told you to plant a seed? is that why you are broke?' I stifled laughter cuz I saw it coming lol. I told her no I am not broke, I came to visit and will come again, empty handed. Of course I couldn't explain to her why I didn't carry the so called gifts that assured her that I was okay and everything was well with me.

I hope to continue doing it until she understands that I want a relationship with her based NOT on what I am able to give. It is human nature to expect so, so much from people. It is very easy to hoodwink our parents back home with the money gifts we send and yet have no relationship at all with them. Some people find it easier to just hit the mpesa button instead of calling someone. It has become customary to offer support mostly by giving especially monetary. I am advocating for REAL relationships that I choose to call nothing-based relationship. To be at a point where I can feel free to visit someone without them giving me the look, and waiting for me to give them something, or expecting something from someone every time they visit!.

My mum brought us up well and always stressed on the fact that it was customary and good manners not to visit empty handed but warned us to be very careful not to make people attached to the gifts you give as opposed to your company!.

My relationship with baby girl also went a notch higher as we spent time together and did a week of VBS (Vocational Bible Study) together. I hate the outdoors so I paid a trip to the ostrich farm for her as she was also on break from school. She always calls the ostrich 'big duck that has long legs', well so I thought the trip would change her mentality, well so much for that, as she still calls it just that! Talk about money in the bin.

I give glory to God, as I spent my leave well. I don't take anything fore-granted and I am energized to start another year. 

A day in the slum: A humbling experience

As I stood on that hill overlooking Matheri Valley, I couldn’t help but flash back to my childhood days. The many things that I took fore-granted.

Growing up, I hated three things, breakfast, oranges and liver. My mum was a strict disciplinarian and easily unleashed her dreaded whip way too often. We called it ‘sosiot’. I have no English word for that. 

During meal times , whatever she served you had to finish, whether you liked it or not. So my siz and I designed a method to make food disappear somehow, or so we thought. We invented hiding places under the seats and dining table to hide the ‘unwanted food’. I hid breakfast (bread or whatever else) inside my school bag and just threw it away on my way to school. Thinking about that now, I feel so guilty that I threw food away or forced myself to eat while some people would give an arm and a leg just to put food on the table. 

Before today, I had never set foot in any slum, unbelievable uh? Our clients from Holland visited Kenya for a project that required a visit to the slum. That’s how my journey started. Our company driver picked me up at 8am from my residence so that we could pick up the rest of the team. We were ready to hit the road at 10. As we closed in towards huruma, I couldn’t help noticing piles of garbage (filthy) carelessly heaped on the side of the road and wondered what the local city council were all about?

We pulled up somewhere to wait for our guide for the day. Some strange looking men hovered to peek but couldn’t as our car was tinted. I would be lying if I said I was Ok, jeez I was scared stiff!. After what seemed like an eternity our guide arrived. We exchanged pleasantries and then he started giving instructions. First one was a bit weird: ‘take off your watches, shades, bracelets and anything else you value’ so I took off my sunglasses and watch (ps they are not particularly expensive but I just wanted to feel all important :) ). In my mind I be like ‘okay why don’t we just undress and go naked instead of all the fuss’ I took my other pair of sunglasses that I didn't mind losing since the sun was way too hot!

Then we started the walk towards the slum our guide explained that we needed to have some sort of protection to get into the slum safely thus introduced us to one of the slum king pins called Japuolo, Jathong or something. I chose to call him Japuolo. Japuolo is a very mean looking guy at first glance with a very tough voice, but later on as I engaged him in chit chat I realized he is so nice! He took the lead without saying a word. It was quite a long walk (or maybe not) before we saw the first glimpse of the slums. 

I was taken aback by the state of the buildings! Oh my I felt like I was in a completely new world. I wanted to do an about turn there and then. Yes I am a chicken!. I had previously seen photos of slums but I had always considered them photoshoped. no there aint no photoshop here honey, the buildings were so so devasting looking, it hasnt rained in Nairobi in like 3months but the paths and the surroundings were all wet and full of green looking water. I guessed leaking sewers. 

The paths between the houses were so tiny and I couldn't help but wonder how the slum dwellers managed to move house because really we were straining to get ourselves through and believe me I am not particularly heavy. I guess to live here you just have to watch your weight otherwise how else will you maneuver your way around. 

 

With the help of our guide we managed to take a sneak peak at the houses. I am sucker for space and cant live in a house that does not have a window. Those houses have no windows! 

The roofs look like they are gonna give way without a warning and I wondered what happens when the rain pours. When the night comes bringing its chills and mosquitos.

We made several rounds and I stuck close to Japuolo. He filled me in on the survival tactics of the slum dwellers and it was interesting to note with only Ksh 20, you have a full meal, sometimes chicken soup even. My favorite dish aka fries can be found just outside the door and is locally called 'chips mwitu'. He offered to buy me some, well they had a very interesting taste. 

I loved the children there. So full of life and free-spirited! they mingled easily and everywhere we went we got a welcome song! the smiles were so genuine and open. And the dancing. We visited a school that stood out. It was very simple made of iron sheet but very good looking. Japuolo mentioned something about being an NGO project. But the classes were partitioned so the kids in class one could make out class two and vice versa. 

We spent the whole day there just interacting with the locals and looking at the businesses there. I was amazed at the pricing of common things like shoes and bags. The local brewer called out to us to taste his stuff, well I didnt dare but some of my companions did and from the look on their faces it must have been VERY Nasty. 

As the sun set and we began to make our way out of the slum I was so depressed at the state of things there. I began to thank God for the things that I have, I spend most of my time complaining and tweeting to Nairobi water and Kenya Power at the slightest sign of black out or no water. They spend forever with no water and electricity but they get by! 

At that point, I chose joy. No matter what I was facing I chose to look at the positive side of things and rejoice. Thanking Lord for His blessings on me, a good roof over my head, food on my table and shoes on my feet!