Miss Independent?

I have read lots of articles about qualities an ideal woman should possess. According to most men an ideal woman should be beautiful, caring, loving bla bla bla and the shocker, independent! Yes most men nowadays are scared of responsibilities and want a woman who already has their thing together or a woman who has lots of potential. They want to be able to do a fifty fifty in the house. Men are now on the hunt for women who are on the upward scale. I differed with that a lot and wanted to see if there are ANY men out there who still want to be the head of the house and take care of their family. Good grief I was relieved to find actually there are still GOOD men out there!

There is a DEEPER meaning to being walked down the aisle that people choose to ignore. Your father walks you down the aisle and hands you over to your husband-to-be. The person who took care of you is always the one who walks you down the aisle. Why not let any random guy/uncle/relative walk you down? What does this signify? He is not just handing over your hand or body for that matter, he is handing over the whole responsibility of taking care of you. Now ladies, did you pay rent in your dad's house? That is exactly what I am talking about. Your husband ought to take FULL responsibility. Wait before you swallow me alive here are some biblical pointers:

First and foremost, working to provide for the woman is men's curse from God! Remember the garden of Eden? when Eve Convinced Adam to eat the fruit? Genesis 3: 17-19, God actually cursed him, told him that he will have to toil to eat. So man has to work to put food on the table and not the woman. Eve's curse was to bring forth children in pain. So while the man is fighting to split financial roles, why doesnt he go ahead and get pregnant as well uh?

1st Cor 11: 3
We are told that Christ is the head of every man and the man is the head of a woman. Can you lead a person without showing direction? The first role of a man is to lead his family. They should be able to oversee everything in the home and provide both physical and spiritual needs. How can you be the head when all you do is split the rent in half, and all the other bills as well? 

Another biblical pointer is in I Timothy 5:8 - "But if any provide not for his own, especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel". Marriage is a financial venture and the husband has a responsibility to finance or support or provide for his family. This is talking about money. As a husband, your earnings are not your own but belong to your wife as well and your children!  

See? I didnt make this up, its all there in the bible. Dont get me twisted honey. I am not saying that a woman should not work at all, I am however of the opinion that the woman is supposed to be just a helper you know to chip in here and there when times are tough but should not be obligated to do a fifty-fifty with the husband.

I know I want a man who will provide for me, who will not compete with me in terms of finances and who will want to be THE MAN. Instead of competing with me he should show honor as I am the weaker vessel . 1st Peter 3:7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Ladies I am not saying that you just sit and relax and spend your money on shoes. You know as much a man will do most of the stuff, he will buy meat yes but doesn't know that that meat needs tomatoes and stuff to be stew, he will pay rent but the kitchen needs utensils et al. Strive to be the proverbs 31 woman you know be the one that is always on the look out for investment ideas, have savings for when its raining and your man will know though he does the lion's share in the house, he knows he can always count on you!

 

How I spent my 'holiday'....

Remember after the holidays how we were made to write compositions on how I spent my holidays? I used take a 'train ride to Mombasa' every holiday, yes made that up a billion times. Who wants to say they spent the holiday in Kericho at Grannys place or worse still just at home doing house chores?

This holiday was special, mostly because I chose to give more than buy a gazillion snacks that we wouldn't even finish. December is associated with eating,  I did VERY well in my mission to add weight, 3 whole kgs! Well except the weight piled up around my tummy, not exactly what I had in mind :( Baby girl did her fair share of random eating but didn't add a single kg. What with all the energy. 

On the day that the helper was leaving, baby girl cried her lungs out because she wanted to join her to Matakos (Machakos) and I also wanted to join her in screaming!. Just the thought of all the house work killed me!.

We spent our days eating fast foods and lots of sugar and watching movies. I watched Delhi Safari a million times! Baby girl would watch it over and over and over its a miracle I didn't shoot myself. On Christmas day we went to my bro's farm way past Kitengela. It was awesome! We made a bonfire and ate lots of meat then just chilled because that place is way out of the main road so its serene.

On new year's eve I decided to stay up to usher in the new year with baby girl. During the day we went out to get our daily dose of fast food and came back to the house. We agreed to stay up late, okay I tried to trick her because she didn't even know what was going on! So I gave her so many cookies and a sip of red bull. I swear I thought she had gone crazy she was super hyper call it sugar high. I was high on Coffee and red bull as well. We put on music and started dancing, she was dancing I wasn't, that is the first time I heard baby girl say no more sweets. All these efforts to keep her up didn't pay off because she slept anyway at 10. I tried to continue staying up but was afraid of imaginary ghosts because the house was now awfully quite. So I forced sleep and switched off my phone because people have the habit of assuming that everyone is awake on New Year's eve and so start jamming your phone with those annoying forwards!

1st January 2014, the sky wasn't pink, it was still freaking hot, I felt so fat really FAT (its mid January and I am yet to hit the gym), BUT baby girl was so attached to me that come 2nd when the helper showed up she screamed and said that she didn't want to stay with her. I didn't want to join in the crying this time around infact I was smiling I wanted to hug her (helper) tight!

School week was hell as I started to prepare baby girl psychologically for school. She didn't want to go back. (Don't we all love holidays) HOWEVER when we went shopping she got her dream bag and that changed her mind! She spent the next few days asking 'is tomorrow school?' can I go to school now? well well well, there were no tears shade on day one back to school.

Theme of the year: Love

Happy new year my beloved! It's so good to be back and I am working on my blog (read composition) about how I spent my holidays. Keep it locked :) But FIRST I would like to set the pace for 2014. I sound like a serious person, no?

On 1st January when I was doing my daily devotion I was led by the Holy Spirit (clears throat for effect) to 1st Corinthians 13. It's about Love, love, love. It's one of the simplest and familiar books in the bible yet I have NEVER meditated on it before today. Most people have twisted this all out and made it a wedding Chapter. No that was not the original intent! Paul wasn't addressing couples. He was speaking to the people of Corinth on the IMPORTANCE of having LOVE for EVERYONE. Not JUST your SPOUSE. Paul stresses that love is an ACTION not an EMOTION. You know I can tell you that I love you, but when you step out I gossip, is that love? . It's so true what the word of God says that when he sends His word it does not come back empty but accomplishes that which it was meant to do...Isaiah 55:11

I realized what God was LAYING  in my heart that day. In my struggle to be a better person, I forgot one important bit that crowns it all. Love. I have a weakness of hating on people even people that I have NEVER met, you know, celebs that I only see on TV! This just gave me my Theme for 2014. If I love everyone regardless then I AM LOVE. I walk around with love in my heart and my new name would be love, wouldn't that be nice? I would do everything that is required to be done that shows love, no envying, no side eyes, no malice, no slander....for effect I replaced the word love with my name in 1st Cor 13 4-7. You can do that too and read it out loud and see how DEEP that Chapter is.

⁴ Linda is patient, Linda is kind. Linda does not envy, Linda does not boast, Linda is not proud. ⁵ Linda does not dishonor others, Linda is not self-seeking, Linda is not easily angered, Linda keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Linda does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Linda always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

WOW! How BEAUTIFUL will I be when I carry all THESE characteristics, especially not keeping records of wrongs?? You know the way I love to be historical, I remember every single wrong, every bad text, every wrong word,  and being patient? I hate waiting. That can be your THEME too! Notice here I have NOT used the word RESOLUTION.  

Well, well, well, so can I see that resolution list? Yes that one tacked under your pillow. Are you among the people that just crossed off 2013 and wrote 2014 because nothing changed? Well here is a word for you. I wanted to quit drinking for a very long time and it was my new year resolution EVERY year. Then one day not even new year, I prayed to God to transform me! I realized what I wanted was a transformation not a silly resolution that is focused on me. This year, instead of focusing on yourself, focus on CHRIST. Let your THEME be Romans 12 (2: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will) .......and ask God to renew your mind and you will see your RESOLUTIONS falling into place like magic. Especially resolutions that revolve around changing from A to B. Everyone will ask you what changed? And you will just nod and say HE MADE ME NEW, you know. Colossians 3:10

Its important to note that we cannot give GOD a deadline so while you do that list honey, let it be led by the Spirit of GOD, don't say that I must get married this year then end up settling for less. GOD'S timing is always perfect.

Paul ends that chapter thus: 1st Cor13: And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I choose Love!