This
term baby girl's school added French to their school curriculum. I didn't
know until someone (fellow parent) mentioned it during the parents meeting. (I
know how ignorant of me). So naturally I went home super excited that evening to find out
more details from baby girl:
Me: So you study
French in school?
BG: Yes,
yes...(eyes wide open in excitement)
Me: Okay great, say
something to mommy in French (No I don't understand French)
BG: Chamegee (with
a super loud lunje accent)
me: Oh yaay great.
See 'chamge' is not
French. That's my local dialect for hi. I was disappointed but of course didn't
show it. I expected baby girl to have learnt French in two months and yet she
can’t even pronounce all English words well yet and her grammar is definitely a
story for another day. Later I found out that it was for the older class and not theirs...sigh.
This is exactly how
the world sees us, the newbies in salvation. People expect so much from you. Of
course when you get saved the old you is gone and the new you has to take
precedence. 2 Cor 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!Well, news flash, this is not an overnight transformation and you
have to really engage God in constant prayer for God to continually deal with
you. We are naturally stiff necked people and find it hard to do what is right
according to scripture. Thing is you are bound to fall that is where people (I
like to call the audience) come in and say 'si I thought you are saved?
.....'even saved people do that?' The judging becomes louder. The world expects
a two month or two week transformation just like I expected baby girl to have
learnt French overnight! I noticed that I tripped a lot especially with words
and self control. I went on my knees one day and prayed to GOD to deal with me
and blogged about it here Break Me
While he was
dealing with me and doing all the breaking I felt the need to just seek HIM in
Solitude.
.bmp)
So many things can fall out of place some because of your tripping and
some because of answered prayers. See I have been trusting God to reveal some
things to me. Daniel 2:22 He reveals deep and hidden things;he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.
And Him being faithful, did reveal. He even went ahead and closed
some doors, crudely. I had placed my trust in things that I thought would be but weren't
meant to be and I found myself in one-sided relationships, see the way feelings
are supposed to be mutual? Yes, so mine weren't. I realized that I was always
the one doing the reaching out, I was the one always doing the bending and
compromising what I believe in. At this point I realized it was time to take a
time out and just do a self-audit, especially in my relationships. That was my
moment of solitude.
I locked myself
away from the world, literally. I wasn't speaking to anyone, or catching up with
anyone, God works in amazing ways because during that period he moved me from my
work place. I guess he really wanted me to take this whole solitude thing
seriously uh? See I don't easily make friends, so God figured out that before I
adjust and start my chatter box ways, I will have found him in my quite moments
with him.
I found this in the women's bible on
my first day of solitude:
'In solitude God
begins to free us from our bondage to human expectations for there we
experience God as our ultimate reality - the one in whom we live and more and
have our being. In solitude our thoughts and our mind, our will and our desires
are re-oriented Godward so we become less and less attracted by external forces
and be more deeply responsive to God'
That is exactly
what I needed to be free from people! I took seriously my need to quite the
noise of my life, to cease the constant strive of human effort, to pull away
from my absorption in human relationships for a time in order to give God my
undivided attention.
How do you know you are free of
people?
I always liked
having the last word. When we fight I must text you till you say enough. But I have
learnt that being free means that you don’t have to have the last word and you
are okay
Sorry is just a
word but a very hard one to say! Total freedom means that you are able to HUMBLE
yourself, ACCEPT that you were wrong, APOLOGIZE and move forward.
I always wanted to
prove that I have changed, that I am perfect, when I make a mistake, I want to
prove that I am not what I did, but true freedom means that you are able to
walk away without having to prove anything or justifying anything
Talking about the
situation that brought you down is the
ultimate prove of true freedom. How do you discuss that situation? Are you able
to focus on the lessons or whine bitterly about shoulda, coulda, woulda? Don’t dwell
on how it should have been, keep your head up, forgive and let go…if it was
meant to be, it will be. Stop chasing people!
People's opinions
can either get you down or up. These
are some of the lessons, all common, I know, that I learnt:
·
I will always test before I trust
·
It is important to take care of your Character as opposed to
your reputation, see character is who you truly are while reputation is what
people think you are which you might not be.
·
I will surround myself with like-minded people who will push me
to be a better person everyday
·
I will always respond to my inner spirit and not my outer
man!
·
I will never, ever COMPROMISE/BEND just so I can fit in, please
someone or be with someone
ALWAYS REMEMBER When people don’t have
present dirt on you, they reach out for the past, BUT honey remember it’s been
forgiven! Isaiah 43:19
