' Nawasalimu kwa jina la yesu' ('I great y'all in the name of Jesus)
Oh boy! no please no. This ain't happening and he waited until we all paid our fair then he got up. Clearly they have mastered the art of perfect timing and there is no escape. He went on and on and I must give it to him because he has the bible on his finger tips and every scripture he quoted I counter checked and walaa on point. He caught my full attention when he spoke about scattering your blessings. He called it mdomo mbaya. You know the way you tell someone something and then for some reason it doesn't work out, or the way you go to someone for advise and gives you something that she/he knows for sure its a 'don't try this at home' kind of advise. That's what this whole thing is about, well a more basefull fact about who you run to and who you should confide in.
Who do you tell your stuff?
Micah 7:5
Put no trust in a neighbor;
have no confidence in a friend;
guard the doors of your mouth
from her who lies in your arms;
In the past, before Jesus, (in my life) I liked to spill my beans to everyone that cared to listen you know as long as you had the title FRIEND I would go on and on about my stuff. All I needed to get talking was a high stool and a tall glass. I have since matured and I have become very guarded and realised that when someone asks 'how are you' they don't necessarily mean it, its a polite way to start a conversation! Yeah I didn't know that before. I was too overwhelmed by emotions that I wanted to get it all out. I learnt to confide in a chosen few but well that too has it own downside. Wait until you hear your story as an example. I once had a friend who was so used to using other people's stories as examples. Problem is she forgets who the origin of a particular story is, so once she told MY story in MY presence and I was like wait chic, that's me, I told you that in confidence, she just went like ooops and didn't even feel the slightest remorse! That's when I learnt that not everyone you tell your stuff has a good intention. Most people don't care honey! They just want to feed off your insecurities and make small talk about it, how evil is that? You know like a point of reference and an example.
I was listening to the flashbacks from victims of Last year's Westgate Terror attack and one thing that I picked out is the response they got from people when they shared their experience. Some would call them and instead of asking how they are holding up they would ask how it was...just to get first hand 'moshene' and after they have painfully narrated their experience they walk away with just one comment and not once were they asked how they feel or felt. This is exactly how it is, when something happens to you, not necessarily traumatic, some people call you just to get first hand information from you. Not necessarily to share in your pain or sorrow.
Jeremiah 9:4
The bible says exactly that, that you shouldn't put trust in anyone. What advise are they giving you concerning your situation? Are they encouraging you to quit on your marriage while they have secret demons that they are fighting in their own marriages? So you have a problematic child are they giving you sound advise or are they judging your parenting skills? When you are a Christian and things are falling apart are they giving you a genuine shoulder or are they whispering behind your back about how sinfull you are that is why evil is after you?
Let everyone beware of his neighbor,
and put no trust in any brother,
for every brother is a deceiver,
and every neighbor goes about as a slanderer.
Psalms 118:8
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in man.
Personally I have become so afraid to share my emotions. I am afraid of being emotionally connected then end up being disappointed, I am afraid of breaking down and not being comforted enough I am afraid of sharing my pain then that person bails out on me. To stay sane you ought to talk to someone, I know. I have however resorted to sharing stuff, lots of stuff with my God, and feeling lighter and lighter. Sounds crazy uh?
How then do you know you are talking to the right person?
Most people share stuff with lots of different people for one reason or another. Some need spiritual cover thus share with spiritual people, some need comfort thus share with close friends and some need advise thus share with people who have been through the same experience. Whatever your reason, don't go spilling it all over honey!
Bottomline is YOU have to learn NOT to depend on people! People cant and will never fill all your needs. They will give you advise and some VERY good advise but you will still be left feeling hollow. I have learnt to depend on GOD and realise that HE actually speaks, not in a thunder or flash or anything BUT in a QUIET STILL VOICE. He guides me and wraps me in His arms. He bottles my tears and keeps count of my tossings. I want to be in a place where I am not depended on human beings but on HIM alone.
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