When Anxiety Strikes...

These past few days have been so stressful and I found myself getting all anxious and depressed. My nanny left and I have been unable to replace her. Tackling housework and work at the same time has been overwhelming to say the least. The night brought unwelcome sleeplessness and in the morning I felt like staying in bed all day! I was too tired to do my quite time, too tired to read, too tired to just have the me time that I so love. I felt like I was going crazy. It was confounding. 

Before this week, my life had been going smoothly say normal, save for the usual screams from baby girl. I have always known that the devil is prowling ready to attack so I don’t know why I was surprised when he finally attacked! 1 peter 4:12. It is important to note anxiety is normal how to deal with it is the issue! Psalms 56: 3 says, 'When I am afraid, I put my trust in thee'. Notice it does not say, that all will be smooth and you will never be afraid! The word of God does not assume that because you are saved you have no panic attacks!

When he attacks he does more that one at a time. It can be small things that could throw you off balance from unrealistic bills, to missing out on deadlines, to crashing laptops, to things not being the way they ought to be. 

 Last night like the Psalmist I sort to find out why my soul has been cast down. I read Psalms 42 out loud. Why is my soul cast down? Psalms 42: 5 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation.(emphasis is mine). Notice it is repeated again in verse 11. 

I noticed that I was so restless so I prepared a cup of hibiscus tea and took my note book. I started to note down all the things that were troubling my heart and made two columns, one for the things I have control over and the other that I have no control over. I made a to do list so that I may be able to sort out the things that I have control over one day at a time. 

For the things that I have no control over I sort the word of God, because I felt that other than the normal stuff I didn’t  even know what is troubling me! What I want and what I desire. I love Psalms 139, the way it starts with 'O Lord, you have searched me and known me'!...

Only the Lord can show you deep and hidden stuff. Stuff that you DO NOT know. When you call to him he will reveal to you hidden things. He knows you, even that idle thought at the very back of your mind he knows! He knows your plans even before you utter them to anyone. 

Are you in a mess? anxious about everything and anything? The word of God encourages us to cast our anxieties and worries and to take one day at a time! Even in your anxious state worship the Lord. Doing this will help defeat the anxiety because the more you dwell in God, the less room you leave to dwell anxiety.

Stop for a moment and think how many different sinful actions and attitudes come from anxiety. Anxiety about finances can give rise to coveting and greed and hoarding and stealing. Anxiety about succeeding at some task can make you irritable and abrupt and surly. Anxiety about relationships can make you withdrawn and indifferent and uncaring about other people. Anxiety about how someone will respond to you can make you cover over the truth and lie about things. So if anxiety could be conquered, a lot of sins would be overcome.

Pray for His peace and supernatural wisdom. That peace needs to be restored, that is why when Jesus came back he showed the disciplines his nail pierced hands and the first words out of his mouth were 'peace be with you'. John 20: 19-21. Jesus wants you to be at peace! 

The song 'one day at a time' really inspires me and makes my day and can be a good start to your day too. I listen to it every time I get to the office and when anxiety and worry wants to take over.

One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you
Give me the strength to do everything that I have to do
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine
Help me today
Show me the way
One day at a time.

Why get Saved?

Ever asked yourself why you got saved? Well not questioning your salvation Per-se but searching deep within you to know WHY you really got saved. Were you trying to conform to a certain pattern? or find abundance or find love? Well when I first got saved all I wanted was to find comfort, to find peace, really didnt care about anything else just that. Did I find all that no! 

When your motive is not right, then it is so easy to fall! If you dont get the comfort you were searching for you will prefer 'the other world'. When you meet this man in church and then he doesnt turn out to be who you expected him to be you will keep wishing you stuck with that random guy you dated last!

I always had this misconception that it was easy to be saved that once you get saved all will fall into place like a jig-saw puzzle. I was wrong!  I ended up being inside salvation but looking out the window to see how the outside world was.

So why get saved:

I don’t want you to read this blog and start to think that instead of saving souls I am leading them away from Christ! It does not matter what you believed in the past, the truth is there is a God who wants to have a relationship with you. There are so many reasons to get saved but my top three favorite are: 

1.: To become a child of God:

John 3: 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—

Not everyone is automatically a child of God! you have to accept Jesus as your Lord and saviour first.

God's children are treated differently than God's servants. God will teach, comfort, guide, and chastise His children. His servants are pretty much left to their own until their final judgment one day. God's children can holla at their father (God) at anytime, isn't that cool or what? Knowing that Your daddy can do anything when you ask HIM. (John 14: 14 if you ask anything in my name, I will do it).

2: To know the truth for yourself:

Is it not bad enough that there are so many false teachers our there? Do you get different interpretations of scripture? Well God can reveal them to YOU, he can help you understand the bible for yourself. When someone quotes a verse you will be able to go back and read it for yourself and understand it  according to 1 Corithians 2: 9-10. The purpose of the Holyspirit in a Child of God’s life is to teach them the things that seem too difficult and confusing. He will give you that deep spiritual understanding. He will HELP you to pray according to HIS word.

3: Finally to have a deep relationship with God

I like to have a personal relationship with God, and talk to him normal you know the way you can talk to a friend. I don’t have to go to him all deep for him to hear me out. God wants to have a relationship with you, to be in your daily life and thoughts. He is a friend that can never bail out on you. He sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18: 24)

Don’t go seeking God because your relationship failed or you are lonely, seek HIM because he is GOD and he is so awesome! Don't seek HIM because of what he can do, seek HIM for who HE IS. Seek him in truth with all your heart and mind.  

When you are going through something don't go to people, FIRST turn to HIM he will give you a solution, (James 1:5). Have quite time with HIM and he will speak to you.


Don’t be fooled God cannot be mocked He knows your intentions even before you speak them out.

For the SINGLE momma - Moving on....

I didn't believe that writer's block exists, well mostly because I am a story teller and love to go on and on about stuff. But now I do! I did not know what to write or where to start from on moving on, simply because I am still trying to move on, not there yet, but baby steps. I have a heap of crumpled paper that can attest to how many times I have tried to start this topic. Here goes:  

Now that you are forgiven and know that there is hope, what next?  I call them the four golden rules of moving on; 

1. Quit Pity Parties.

You know the people you meet up for coffee and your discussion revolves around how much your life sucks? Okay that’s a pity party club. You need to unsubscribe from that club and fast! They do nothing but fill your mind with a lot of negativity. Most of the time we take poison and expect the other person to die, but really will they? So what’s the poison here? Plots of revenge, anger, how you gonna burn up that car, drink yourself silly, self neglect and some people even neglect their kids just to make the man feel bad. I hate to disappoint you honey but while you send yourself to hell his life is normal, maybe even happier! Men move on and won’t even notice how messy you are! Put on a positive mind and take control of your thoughts. Hold every negative thought captive according to 2 Corinthians 10: 5 ‘We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ’.

Set yourself free from those negative friends and from that man as well, ask God to break every soul tie that you may have with him and begin to just have peace with him even when not in communication. 

2. Get a life!

We go about life not knowing what we want, do you want him back? Do you want him in your life? We even forget who we are. Case in point: Someone asks you to introduce yourself and you be like ‘ My name is Mary, I have three kids, well the first born is 7, he is so into cars the second ee that one is the engineer of the family…’ get the drift. You go on and on about your kids and notice that you didn’t talk about yourself even once!  Separate yourself from your kids. I am always in a rush to get home, when I eventually do, baby girl goes through my stuff looking for ‘something’ bubbles about her day, homework and after like 30 minutes runs off to her toys and I go like then why was I worried? This has taught me that I have a life besides her. I have learnt to have a lot of ME time. Set time aside for YOU, its okay you are not being selfish. After all the best mothers are peaceful mothers.  

Set your goals, know what you what if you want to get into a relationship or just be friends, or whatever it is that you desire, go out there and meet people. They aint gonna come to you honey. Look good, dress well and be at your best always! Keep that smile. Don’t neglect yourself and remember you are the most beautiful person on earth! 

3. Stop stalking him

Do you still cyber-stalk your baby-daddy? Yes you…secretly going to his facebook page to check if his life sucks as much as yours does? Tryna see if he has another girl or not? So what if he does? You start stalking the girl too? Honey let him be and mind your business. The earlier you stop sending those annoying texts and updating crazy stuff on facebook for him to ‘see’ the faster you will move on.

When I became single, I felt like something was missing. I was never the type of girl who wanted to be alone. So I ensured all my twitter and facebook updates revolved around me having lots of fun, and being with cool people. I even found myself a ‘ghost’ boyfriend you know and did those fake calls and fake chats..lol sounds crazy now. But I made a CHOICE to be happy and find what truly made me happy cuz no one can make you happy girl, just you. Every HAPPY person looks nice and beautiful. Love yourself (Ephesians 5: 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church) Be yourself, respect yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. I did this and boom suddenly it’s like a memo went out, men started running my door down trying to date me! 

You know those many, many lonely moments when you start to chat up everyone on your phone book? Well I had many of those so I made a choice never to top up my phone at night or over the weekends. I would have to wait for my phone to ring. Now am at a point where I don’t call men, they call me! 

4. Guard your heart and your Child

If I could scream at the roof tops is for you to guard your heart and protect your kid! So you met this guy and he told you how cute you are then you think you found 'the one' and you quickly confess your love and cling to him like he is the last man standing…that’s being desperate. (Proverbs 4:23 above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it) don't go 'falling in love' with every man who says something nice, no. 

Will you introduce your baby to every man you meet? How many men will she/he meet before you finally settle? Don’t introduce your kid in the early stages of dating wait until you are sure its gonna be something, then start by dropping his name in conversations to let your kid know that you are seeing someone, then graduate to phone calls for the kid to familiarize with the man’s voice then finally the physical meeting. Ensure not to meet him in places that get your kid all moody like supermarkets for some, because he/she will relate that man to that bad experience. Do something fun and don’t drive the conversation let him do it.  While I date I ensure to mention on the first date that I have a baby and see the man’s reaction. Remember to put your baby first don’t be selfish and be with a man who doesn’t want your baby. You are a package. You don’t bond with my baby sorry, that’s as far as we go. 

Finally what do YOU want, another random guy? Another guy who just wants to be exclusive? Who just wants to rub his thigh on you? Who wants you as a toy when he is bored? Or do you want him to Put a ring on it? 

A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her - Max Lucado.