Myths about salvation.

One Tuesday evening as I was walking from church I met an old pal, I was dressed in my infamous rugged jeans and my hair was roughed up as usual......wait so every time I meet my aunt she reminds me that I forgot to comb my hair. One time she offered to buy me a comb to keep in my bag because in her mind I am always in such a hurry that I forget to comb my hair. (My hair is roughed up in semi-locks). Oh where was I, oh yes so I met this friend of mine and he asked me where I was coming from so I told him church, he looked surprised and said you went to church like this? I am like yes anything wrong? he was like you don't look like a church goer at all, more-so a weekday churchgoer, you would easily pass for a non-believer or a Sunday only kind of person.

At that point I realized that many people are confused about the facts of salvation. We believe in myths. I also believed in myths. I believed that saved people should dress in long holier-than-thou kind of clothes and have their heads all covered up or hair neatly done. But no, Jesus does not look at your outward appearance but your heart. 

There are some things that I wished someone would have POINTED OUT to me when I got saved, sort of like a redlight: 


Saved people are supposed to be doormats.
I once watched our office tea girl argue with a colleague over something that truly wasnt her fault when she walked out, my colleague said 'and she says she is saved, what salvation is that' I turned to him and said, 'salvation doesnt mean allowing people to talk you down! Neither is it allowing people to treat you like a doormat! I am saved do I let people walk all over me?' He laughed it off and said, uh, you, you are just a loud mouth naturally. If you feel someone has wronged you, speak out. Say so in the noblest way possible. Learn to create boundaries! Don't let people push and shove you around. Salvation IS NOT equal to being weak. The word of God says in Luke 17: 3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.

Saved people's sexual feelings have been shut
This is the MOST controversial one. Hello?? I am not a stone! God put sexual desires in man and woman such that when they get MARRIED they can fulfill God's purpose of being fruitful. Infact the bible encourages active (read good) sex in marriage lest you cause your significant other to seek satisfaction elsewhere, ahem! Don't look at me like that, its in the bible! Yes, 1st Corinthians 7: 3 & 5 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 5. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. No it doesn't mean that the desires are shut down as soon as you say the salvation prayer! You cannot start to pray and ask God to shut off your sexual bulb you know, what happens when you get married and don't have the desire AT ALL? While single and SAVED of course you will still want some BUT you ought to have self control and learn to walk in the spirit according to Galatians 5: 16 and most of all learn to keep your thoughts pure.

Saved people have all the answers

False. Have you ever been down on the low feel like crap and feel like everything is falling apart then you call this pal who you met in church and is saved and then all they have to say is 'It shall be well my friend' or quote a verse like Jer 29:11, which is a good verse but has been misused to the extent it sounds like a broken record, without giving you a solution? then you hang up call your unsaved friend she invites you for a drink you talk through the drink, cry, laugh at the end of the chat, high as a kite you have a vague solution, but yes, you talked she heard your problem and tried to come up with a solution without shutting you out. My point, saved people aren't necessarily the most encouraging people.They love to relate everything to the bible and sometimes end up innocently sparking people off because sometimes all you want is a realistic approach to a problem. Case in point, you have no job, make no effort of looking and your saved friends tell you don't worry, God will make a way where there is no way!. That is a lie! He will make a way, yes, but how about getting your CV out first? Isn't that common sense? Lesson: Know who you confide in and ask for wisdom from GOD to discern the good and the bad.

Saved people are not supposed to air their dirty linen (perfection)

For a very long time, I mythically imagined that when you are saved you are supposed to be perfect. You know, no problems like marital issues, money problems etc. I once heard a pastor joke that pastor-couples don't fight/argue they just have intense conversations with each other, lol. There is a greeting that I so detest(ed). When you ask someone how they are and they answer 'blessed and highly favored' BUT have a sneer on their face, a dead fish look as it is so well known like the picture on the right, CLEARLY they are not okay! What happened to the good old, I am fine thank you? I struggle with the praise God greeting in church! Um, Praise God my sister, I be like fine, fine. But I still love JESUS, amen? (okay off topic). I concluded that it was wrong to have problems when saved, that having problems meant you are not doing something right, or exercising your faith right, so when I had a problem I assumed Jesus was angry with me because of my loose tongue or because I was too tired to do my devotions last night. NO infact we go through fire to come out strong and HIS Streghth is made perfect in our weakness! So remember when you are down and out PRAISE GOD because it is the baptism of greatness. 2nd Corinthians 12 :10 'For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


God Helps those who help themselves.

I cannot even begin to count the number of times I have heard this statement!. People would tell me it is written that God helps those who help themselves (supposedly in the bible), but this is a proverb that originated from the Greek according to Wikipedia. Remember the Aesop's Fables? When learning to type online, the Aesop's Fables is one of the famous extracts you are given to type, so moving on, yes I cannot emphasize enough the need for you to read the bible for yourself! This is just an example of a quote that people have mis-quoted and said its from the bible. The closest to this is 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12 For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. 11For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. But this is more inline with being lazy..

Being a Christian DOES NOT take you away from being a human being. The human nature will always remain, no matter how many night vigils you attend, no matter how long you fast. We are therefore NOT immune to life's challenges. God is a GOD of all season's when you are LOW or when you are HIGH. In the mountains or in the valley.

The forbidden Man.

I met him in a work setting. He was tall dark and very handsome. (No, not an extract from a novel, he REALLY was). When he smiled his cheeks dimpled.

Him: What’s your name?

Me: **Samantha

Him: Really?

Me: Yes really. (getting irritated)

Him: Oh, my bad, I thought its princess cuz you sure look like one.

He had me! So smooth with his words. Of course I knew it was just a pick up line but boy, was he good! Yes I am a good girl so I didn’t show it, I walked away smiling. He had me again when he REALLY PURSUED me just to get my number. I finally gave him my number and he called me up. He called me every single day and we eventually set a date for our first date. I felt like a teenager. He took me to a VERY fancy hotel and was all so sweet and said all the right things. He didn’t make any crazy moves, he was composed and spoke about JESUS a lot. Again there he had me. On the third date that’s when he dropped the bomb shell. He looked deep into my eyes and said it. ‘Baby, um, I don’t know how to say this…um, I have fallen for you, blablabla (this is the part where you are supposed get down on one knee)…..BUT I am MARRIED’. …….I almost choked! I was so shocked! He didn’t look or act married at all. He didn’t have a ring or a ring mark for that matter. I hurriedly ended the date and that’s the last time I spoke to him. I would be lying if I say I wasn’t crazy for him already, I was, good thing is I have learnt to guard my heart BUT I still miss him so much. I STRUGGLED TO AVOID HIM. It wasn’t easy at all. I dreamt of his eyes and smile BUT I stopped picking his calls and never returned any of his MANY texts. He is the funniest guy I have ever met, his eyes danced when he spoke, He had a new pet name for me everyday. He was a good listener, he sent me silly texts through the day and asked me every evening how my day was. He bought me lots of chocolate (maybe he was tryna get me to add weight, no?), yes am a chocolate girl.  He made me laugh and felt so young. I gave him a key holder with six of my favorite bible scriptures encrypted and I hope he reads them every day like he promised me. 

I don’t know why I didn’t ask about his life, I was too engrossed in his stories and jokes that we never really had a serious conversation until that third date. It got me thinking about the FORBIDDEN  man. Yes honey, a married man is forbidden and you are NOT allowed to date him. My story above highlights how it is so easy to fall in love with them because they have mastered the art of flattery. They shower innocent (sometimes not) ladies with gifts and say all the right words. 

BUT WHY IS IT WRONG TO DATE A FORBIDDEN MAN you ask? 

1. What God has put together let no man separate

God’s word says in the book of Mathew 19:5-6 'and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

Why would you want to come between two people that God has put together? It brings pain and heartache. When I went through the renewing self program I noticed that most women’s pain was brought by betrayal caused by straying husbands. The tears that I saw, just cannot allow me to be the source of that pain to ANY woman! Some women cannot stand cheating men and once they find out they definitely walk out of the marriage. The only ground for divorce allowed by the bible is sexual immorality according to "Mathew 19 :9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”  Think about the kids who will be left fatherless from the break up. 

  2. You bring dishonor to the marital bed and to yourself.

Hebrews 13:4 Let Marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous….Of course he wont take you to his marital bed literally but by sleeping with him anywhere, in a fancy hotel room, in your own bed or even in the beach, you have  dishonored HIS marital bed.

You also bring dis-honour to yourself. Why do you want to be second? Why do you want to be someone’s toy and option that he can jiggle with when he is bored and wants crazy sex? My number one rule ‘choose because I don’t share’, simple! Some men are so indecisive but I always help you out by not being an option at all. Know your WORTH according to the word of GOD.  Don't stoop as low as being someone's side dish. Be the main dish!

3.      He will NEVER leave his wife! 

Sorry to bust your bubble but truth be told, he will NOT leave his wife. No matter what you do. Knock yourself out with all the sex classes, do all sorts of crazy styles, make his favorite dish everyday, nothing will change his mind. Yes he will whisper to you and tell you that you are better, that you are the one that he loves, but don’t be fooled HE IS NOT SOLD OUT ON YOU. That is why you are not his wife! Studies show that only 2% of men have left their wives for mistresses, what are the chances of being in that percentage? Chances are that you are just his ego booster. You know a trophy girlfriend to show off during parties and to go on holiday with because mistresses hardly nag! When he finally leaves his wife, will you stay with him and allow yourself to loose respect from your friends and be branded the home wrecker?

4.    Power of a praying woman. 

You DO NOT want to be on the receiving end of a woman’s prayers!. Trust me. I have gone for those prayer meetings and the way the demons are cast out and bound, powerful! Do you know when she is busy binding the demon and spirits of straying and cheating, the spirit is YOU. THAT demon is you. Especially if you are dating a married man with full knowledge that he is taken. FIRE WILL COME DOWN ON YOU. Not literally BUT Everything that could go wrong will start going wrong, you will know no peace.

Either way, one of you is always crying. When he is in your arms, you are happy but the wife is crying, when he is with his wife, the wife is happy but YOU are in a nasty mood. Every single holiday you will be alone with a bowl of ice cream and your duvet, because he will spend Christmas and Easter with HIS WIFE.

Go ahead and say you didn't ask him to fall in love with you, you didn't seduce him that he just brought himself, BUT you are sinning by encouraging the relationship, creating GAPS that the devil is now using to bring shame and dishonor to your life. Resist the devil and resist temptations. 

Too Much Month at the end of the Money....

I watched my dad go from riches to rags literally. I know how it is to have, and how it is to lack. We came from having a wonderful childhood to barely making it through college. My parents ensured that we didn't lack anything during my early childhood going to good schools and all that. My mum's illness was the beginning of my dad's downfall. He came as low as selling his vast land and house, and became an alcoholic. Her death was just the last straw. A man who was once well respected down to being an alcoholic.His downfall got me wondering for so many years how did that happen? And  so I sought to find answers.

This post is a SIMPLE maybe even cliché guide through personal experience on how to manage your resources, (read money).  It's so easy to hit the sky and equally easy to fall.

First Rule: Reality Check. How about starting by knowing your worth! Your salary cant be 20,000 and you live on a 40,000 budget, simply impossible. Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man's dwelling, but a foolish man devours it. Proverbs 21:20. Start by swallowing that hard pill of knowing what you can afford and what is out of your reach. If at the end of the money you are on negative meaning you have debts here and there, do a rain check and be very afraid because that's a sign of living without your means. The bible says that “The rich rule over the poor and the borrower is the slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7) Living within your means, means that you are not doing the hand to mouth thing. Save, save, save! Save something for the rainy season! Proverbs 6: 6-8 Go to the ant, O sluggard consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer  and gathers her food in harvest.


 Don't be afraid to say no.  We should learn to be content with what we have. Phil 4:11-12.
¹¹ Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. ¹² I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 

For many years I struggled to fit in and was too afraid to say I don't have and that I am content, I went from party to party to party with full knowledge that my wallet would suffer! I was afraid to say no to that lunch date, to that coffee date and was simply available for every hook up. After I gave my life to Jesus I re-examined my life and knew that I was on the edge of my finances! I started to say no and say I don't have. Most of my friends still get shocked when I say I haven't returned your call/text because I have exhausted my airtime-budget for the month thus have no airtime money, they be like 'honey airtime is only 20bob' famously called bamba20 here in Kenya, yes its that little but its outta my budget its that simple. I choose places I know fit into my budget, I say no when people mention outrageous amounts to be contributed in those many committees. I am not afraid of being branded the cheap skate or getting that look...I live within MY means and no longer try to conform! If you don't like it sorry hit the road.

Tell the difference between what is urgent and what is important.  Walking down the streets especially at night when the hawkers have unleashed the shoes on the streets is a night mare. I get so tempted to try all the pretty shoes and even when I try to walk away the shoes call me by name....you know they even cat-call lol. That's a big down fall for me because when I have money I yield to the 'shoe-voices.' Most of the time they are ridiculously high heels that cant be worn for a mile! But I learnt to have self-control because the word of God says; 'Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control' (Proverbs 25:28)  Everyone has their own addiction. You begin to count down to when you will get your salary to satisfy that addiction. As soon as it hits the account you go for every sale, and every hawker is your friend, you go for terrific Tuesdays and happy hour. Baby girl is crazy about a certain chewing gum called Zing. When I give her her Sunday allowance, she puts aside money for Jesus (offering) and the rest goes to Zing before day ends she has no money to buy anything else and goes back to borrowing from me again so I say no because I am Trying to teach her early to spend wisely.

Have financial goals. Lack of a goal makes people waste money. If you have a goal you work towards that goal. Even for the simple things that you need for example shirts, write down a list of how many you need and begin to check off the list as you buy one by one. Lets just say one day your prayer is answered, amen? and God's grace falls on you and you get a huge amount of money right now, if you don't have a goal you will definitely go on a spending spree, but if you had a preset goal for example buying a house that will be your priority.  (Proverbs 24:27 Prepare your work outside get everything ready for yourself in the field and after that build your house.)


Finally don't be lazy! - You cant be sleeping all day and bumming and hope for manna from heaven. Someone once said that the portion of the sleeper is  the same as that who drinks alcohol. Find a side hustle to boost your main income. It could be selling stuff around or even writing like mine is. Just get busy. Especially the single women don't just sit and pray for a man to come help you balance your books, let him find you financially stable and on your feet with set goals and looking like you are headed somewhere!. (2 Thessalonians 3:10 - For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.)

Some people believe that money is evil, no honey money is not evil. The love of money is evil. (1 Timothy 6: 10). Whoever has the money also matters,if you meet a man with lots of money and minds his family and is generous, society will say oo money is good bla bla bla but wait until money falls into the hands of a womanizer! what he does with the money will get people hating money and say 'see he died because of money'. It is important to note that what you hate cannot come to you. So if you hate money, it will never come to you. If you are in a bad marriage and hate people in successful marriages you will tie yourself down in that marriage, if you are poor and hate/curse rich people, you also bind yourself!.