The forbidden Man.

I met him in a work setting. He was tall dark and very handsome. (No, not an extract from a novel, he REALLY was). When he smiled his cheeks dimpled.

Him: What’s your name?

Me: **Samantha

Him: Really?

Me: Yes really. (getting irritated)

Him: Oh, my bad, I thought its princess cuz you sure look like one.

He had me! So smooth with his words. Of course I knew it was just a pick up line but boy, was he good! Yes I am a good girl so I didn’t show it, I walked away smiling. He had me again when he REALLY PURSUED me just to get my number. I finally gave him my number and he called me up. He called me every single day and we eventually set a date for our first date. I felt like a teenager. He took me to a VERY fancy hotel and was all so sweet and said all the right things. He didn’t make any crazy moves, he was composed and spoke about JESUS a lot. Again there he had me. On the third date that’s when he dropped the bomb shell. He looked deep into my eyes and said it. ‘Baby, um, I don’t know how to say this…um, I have fallen for you, blablabla (this is the part where you are supposed get down on one knee)…..BUT I am MARRIED’. …….I almost choked! I was so shocked! He didn’t look or act married at all. He didn’t have a ring or a ring mark for that matter. I hurriedly ended the date and that’s the last time I spoke to him. I would be lying if I say I wasn’t crazy for him already, I was, good thing is I have learnt to guard my heart BUT I still miss him so much. I STRUGGLED TO AVOID HIM. It wasn’t easy at all. I dreamt of his eyes and smile BUT I stopped picking his calls and never returned any of his MANY texts. He is the funniest guy I have ever met, his eyes danced when he spoke, He had a new pet name for me everyday. He was a good listener, he sent me silly texts through the day and asked me every evening how my day was. He bought me lots of chocolate (maybe he was tryna get me to add weight, no?), yes am a chocolate girl.  He made me laugh and felt so young. I gave him a key holder with six of my favorite bible scriptures encrypted and I hope he reads them every day like he promised me. 

I don’t know why I didn’t ask about his life, I was too engrossed in his stories and jokes that we never really had a serious conversation until that third date. It got me thinking about the FORBIDDEN  man. Yes honey, a married man is forbidden and you are NOT allowed to date him. My story above highlights how it is so easy to fall in love with them because they have mastered the art of flattery. They shower innocent (sometimes not) ladies with gifts and say all the right words. 

BUT WHY IS IT WRONG TO DATE A FORBIDDEN MAN you ask? 

1. What God has put together let no man separate

God’s word says in the book of Mathew 19:5-6 'and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

Why would you want to come between two people that God has put together? It brings pain and heartache. When I went through the renewing self program I noticed that most women’s pain was brought by betrayal caused by straying husbands. The tears that I saw, just cannot allow me to be the source of that pain to ANY woman! Some women cannot stand cheating men and once they find out they definitely walk out of the marriage. The only ground for divorce allowed by the bible is sexual immorality according to "Mathew 19 :9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”  Think about the kids who will be left fatherless from the break up. 

  2. You bring dishonor to the marital bed and to yourself.

Hebrews 13:4 Let Marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous….Of course he wont take you to his marital bed literally but by sleeping with him anywhere, in a fancy hotel room, in your own bed or even in the beach, you have  dishonored HIS marital bed.

You also bring dis-honour to yourself. Why do you want to be second? Why do you want to be someone’s toy and option that he can jiggle with when he is bored and wants crazy sex? My number one rule ‘choose because I don’t share’, simple! Some men are so indecisive but I always help you out by not being an option at all. Know your WORTH according to the word of GOD.  Don't stoop as low as being someone's side dish. Be the main dish!

3.      He will NEVER leave his wife! 

Sorry to bust your bubble but truth be told, he will NOT leave his wife. No matter what you do. Knock yourself out with all the sex classes, do all sorts of crazy styles, make his favorite dish everyday, nothing will change his mind. Yes he will whisper to you and tell you that you are better, that you are the one that he loves, but don’t be fooled HE IS NOT SOLD OUT ON YOU. That is why you are not his wife! Studies show that only 2% of men have left their wives for mistresses, what are the chances of being in that percentage? Chances are that you are just his ego booster. You know a trophy girlfriend to show off during parties and to go on holiday with because mistresses hardly nag! When he finally leaves his wife, will you stay with him and allow yourself to loose respect from your friends and be branded the home wrecker?

4.    Power of a praying woman. 

You DO NOT want to be on the receiving end of a woman’s prayers!. Trust me. I have gone for those prayer meetings and the way the demons are cast out and bound, powerful! Do you know when she is busy binding the demon and spirits of straying and cheating, the spirit is YOU. THAT demon is you. Especially if you are dating a married man with full knowledge that he is taken. FIRE WILL COME DOWN ON YOU. Not literally BUT Everything that could go wrong will start going wrong, you will know no peace.

Either way, one of you is always crying. When he is in your arms, you are happy but the wife is crying, when he is with his wife, the wife is happy but YOU are in a nasty mood. Every single holiday you will be alone with a bowl of ice cream and your duvet, because he will spend Christmas and Easter with HIS WIFE.

Go ahead and say you didn't ask him to fall in love with you, you didn't seduce him that he just brought himself, BUT you are sinning by encouraging the relationship, creating GAPS that the devil is now using to bring shame and dishonor to your life. Resist the devil and resist temptations.