Hope for the single mamas

The other month during our discipleship class our Deacon asked all the singles to stand, yes I am single so I stood. This cute guy that I got along fine with walked up to me like two weeks later and asked me: ‘Then why is your sister calling you mum'

Me: which sister?

Cute guy: Si her, (referring to my 3 year old daughter).

Me: Well that's because she is my daughter, not sister.

Cute guy: I thought you are single?? (insert shocked look)

Me: Yes I am single AND have a daughter.

This conversation was my highlight. Yes I have always covered up being a single mum, excuse after excuse. But the fact that I said those words ‘single AND a mum’ not ‘single BUT a mum’, I knew there and then that things had changed, for the better of course.

Single parenthood is one of the most overwhelming thing ever. You wanna give up, throw in the towel, provide everything for the kids, pay the bills be the mum and the dad without loosing yourself. How is that even possible? You feel so bad about buying stuff for yourself because all you can think about is the baby. Mostly getting along on a shoestring. Personally I cant remember the last time I got myself anything new. I just cant.

I feel that I need to address single mothers so I will do a three part series, of hope, of forgiveness and of moving on...so keep it locked here!

Despite all the fear of not being a good mum, fear of being alone forever, fear of not giving your baby a good life, there is hope. Yes you heard me right, THERE IS HOPE. Do you know Hagar? Don't worry, I didn’t know her either. She was one of the Egyptian servants in Abraham's household, Genesis 16: 16. When Sarah found out that she couldn’t conceive she gave Hagar to Abraham as a surrogate. 

Genesis 21: 1-12. Hagar gave birth to a son and called him Ishmael after a while Sarah also got a son Isaac so during Isaac's weaning festival Sarah decided that she doesn't want Ishmael and Hagar anywhere around Abraham's inheritance and asked her hubby to throw them out. Hagar was betrayed and thrown out into the streets. Not really streets because in those days there were no streets. She was thrown out into the desert to fend for herself and her son. Can you imagine how she felt all alone in the desert with just a skin of water and a piece of bread that would run out anytime? When it eventually did run out, they both cried out, son and mum, son cried because he was hungry and mum cried because she didn’t want to watch the son die! Is this familiar? Do you cry day and night because of the pain of rejection by your baby’s dad or from despair because you do not know when to expect the next meal? From the broken promises, the unanswered calls, the hopelessness, the loneliness? 

It is important to note that Abraham was against Sarah's decision but God asked him to listen to his wife. God then promised to make Ishmael great as well.Just like he would make Isaac great. 

I identify with Hagar. MANY, MANY sleepless nights, tears and more tears, alone with no one to turn to, when everyone around me went around their business and to me it was like time had stopped. BUT God called me out to hold my baby, he promised great things and gave me a WELL that has never dried up since. Genesis 21: 18 Up! Lift up the boy, and hold him fast with your hand, for I will make him into a great nation." 19 Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water. And she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink. 20 And God was with the boy, and he grew up. He lived in the wilderness and became an expert with the bow. 21He lived in the wilderness of Paran, and his mother took a wife for him from the land of Egypt. (emphasis is mine)

That same God who rescued Hagar, will rescue you today. Come to Him and He will give you rest, Mathew 11: 28. He gave me rest. I no longer worry, I have joy and actually look forward to a new day! You my sister can enjoy that rest too. Just call to him, confess and repent your sins and lean on him. Purpose in your heart to seek him daily! You can find God’s peace when you turn to him. According to Philippians 4: 6-7. 

He will make your daughter or son great, just like he promised to make Ishmael great as well. Our God is not selective, He is a GOD FOR ALL. Your kid will amount to something.  He is the next lawyer, teacher or even president. Don't give up hope, show them all the LOVE and always put them first. As much as you are hurting, your baby is hurting too, he/she feels the gap that has been left. Do not ignore your baby while wallowing in sorrow. Get Up and make their life worth living! 

Don't be desperate and don't be sad either. Do you want people to say to a guy that dates you..'wow, isn't he so terribly brave to love a girl who is so obviously sad?' Don't be the dark sky so that he be the star...be the STAR always, shine bright like a diamond :)

Hagar represents all the single mothers out there, who have been despised and rejected. Stop trying to save yourself, call out to The Lord and all else will fall into place. HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT.