Of soul ties..

Why is it so hard to move on from a relationship that failed? Why do you find yourself unable to let go? Have you ever been so tormented by a past relationship that you are NOT ready to love again? Are you drawn to that random who calls you only when they want to get down and treat you like dirt the rest of the time? A guy that in real life you would have hated and avoided like plague. Are you in a relationship where you are TOO obsessed with that person? checking on them EVERY five seconds, rehearsing words you'd say to them, checking your phone for a missed communication from them? Unable to function if they don't call? There...you have soul ties with that person.

A soul tie is a spiritual/emotional connection you have to someone after being intimate with them, usually engaging in UNGODLY sexual intercourse. 1 Corinthians 6:16....16: Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh. People who have many past relationships find it very difficult to 'bond' or be joined to anybody, because their soul is fragmented, scattered and in bondage with many.

It is important to note that not ALL soul ties are bad. If it is a healthy relationship then that is a good soul tie. For example when David's soul was knit to that of Jonathan in the book of 1st Samuel 18:1 18: As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

My focus though is on the unhealthy soul tie resulting from sexual relationships outside of marriage.


It has been said that every time you have Ungodly sex you introduce like seven spirits into your body. Imagine then that if you have ten sexual encounters and thus introduce seventy spirits into your life, can you picture the spirits fighting over you at night while you sleep? You know one telling the other that 'you had her yesterday, hit it, lemmie have her today!' The devil does not cause harm while we are awake, but most harm is done while we SLEEP...Mathew 13:25 but while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat and went away. That is how spiritual husbands and wives are born! (will blog about that soon). Most importantly this is how all sorts of spirits are introduced into our lives; spirit of anger, spirit of lying, spirit of addiction, spirit of indecisiveness, spirit of procrastination, spirit of fear, the list is endless! Stop and examine yourself, you were NOT the lazy kind before or poor, or bisexual but since you HAD SEX with that random suddenly you are struggling to make ends meet, you desire women and you are a woman, ahem, you want to keep postponing things...am I speaking to you? YES this post is for you!. It may seem like an innocent one night stand or casual sex with no strings attached (there is no such thing by the way eventually feelings crop up) BUT whatever they are carrying sips into you somehow!

How do you know your soul is badly tied to someone's?

• First sign is when you are confused. Our God is not a God of confusion and when you feel something is not right about a relationship, then it is not. 
• Second one is when you are always unhappy, you don't know why, you know the unexplained kind of unhappy? Everything seems to take a negative turn, like you don't wanna do anything about your life you just wanna lay there and be idle or roll in the sheets of some random guy but not want to be committed to anyone.
• The last one is that you are always tormented. Your mind is always replaying events of your past relationship and reminding you even the smallest details. You start to compare people in your current relationship to the people in your past, even the smallest things matter. 

How then do you break these soul ties?

1. Confess and repent: First step is to confess your sins that led to that soul tie and repent. If the soul tie is as a result of fornication confess, and turn to God for help. If you are not sure, ask GOD to search you and reveal to you any hidden sins. The bible says that if we confess our sins, He is just and faithful to forgive.
2. Break all vows: Have you ever been so in love that you said things like : I will love you forever, or till kingdom come, or I will never love any other apart from you, I will never let you go etc, wow! you tied your soul by just these words! Innocent as they may have seemed at the moment, they played a big part in forming the soul tie and you need to renounce them in Jesus name.
   Proverbs 21:23. Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.
3. Forgive: Most of the time we walk out of a relationship so angry and bitter and wish the sky will fall on that person, we hold so much bitterness and anger that we end up blocking our own destiny just by virtue of being bitter. Forgive and let go of that person. This will set you free. 
4. Renounce the soul tie: This is the most IMPORTANT step! Renounce the soul tie by actually verbalizing it. Find a quiet spot and lock yourself in. Find a piece of paper and write down all the names of people that you have had sex with or emotional ties. Don't worry if the list begins to look like a graduation call out, you know, with people with similar names dominating your list, for example **Ngugi A, Ngugi K, Ngugi T, Omondi L, Omondi F, Ken O, Ken K....you know! Just list them all do not be embarrassed, it is extremely important to call each and every person by name. Once you have all the names down, Say this prayer: "In Jesus' name, I now renounce any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and ______ as a result of _______________ (fornication, etc.)." Repeat until you have mentioned each and every name on your list.
5. Finally set yourself free: Break the soul tie in Jesus' name! Do this verbally using your authority in Jesus. Example, "I now break and sever any ungodly soul ties formed between myself and _________ as a result of ______________ (fornication, etc.) in Jesus' name."Again repeat till done with all the names in your list.

This may seem like a walk in the park but believe you me, it takes a lot of might and will power. After you have done this, stop collecting more soul ties by sleeping with randoms and wait for your ADAM to be awakened from HIS sleep. He will find you free and ready to start a HEALTHY relationship!.

Always remember that Jesus loves you for who you are, not because of your past! 

Martha Moments

Last night I hosted our Home Cell Group's fellowship. I hurriedly left work for home so that I could settle down and quickly prepare a snack. A colleague was selling freshly baked cakes so I bought one and  passed by the supermarket to get some groceries. I left the cake at the left-luggage section then went in. While on the queue I saw an old pal we got all chatty until I completely forgot about my cake. When I was just about to get off the matatu this guy seated next to me says 'I can see you forgot something at Uchumi...am like uh? then I saw the left-luggage tag still in my hand, dang! there goes my cake.........

When the fellowship finally kicked off I was so busy in the kitchen doing things that I cant even explain because I had already prepared the snacks and set the table so that I would just sit and follow God's word. My siz decided not to join us but I could hear her giggling from the bedroom when the singing started. The main worship leader wasn't there yet and whoever led the worship was a bit off key, okay WAY off key, I guess that's why she was all giggly. We were done after about 2hours as is the norm and  then I went to see them off. After they all drove off I exchanged pleasantries with the watchman as usual:

Him: Hawa walikua wageni wako kumbe? Nilidhani ni wa number 7 (so those were your guests? I thought they were going to number 7) 
Me: Yes
Him: Ghai fafa si ni wa church? (Oh my God arent they church goers?)
Me: Yes si mimi nakuanga nimeokoka (yes because I am saved)
Him: loooooong laughter. Well number 7 is 'visibly' saved according to him it would have made more sense if they were headed there as opposed to my place. He got some nerve uh?

Note to self, maybe I should change my greeting to 'praise God' instead of teasing them about irrelevant stuff! Okay let me explain, I live in the same house that I lived before I was saved. I would go out every weekend and of course come back in the wee hours of the morning high as a kite so the night watchmen knew me. And boy did I have noisy friends. So that explains the looong laughter :(

Anyway when I got back to the house my friend sent me a text to ask me how the fellowship was and what the reading was about, that's when it hit me, I had NO idea because clearly I wasn't listening! Dang. Yes, I am so serious! As in I don't even know which verse they read, I heard tiny bits of testimonies about integrity so I thought that it was about integrity, or maybe not. That was a MARTHA MOMENT for me! I was so so busy in the kitchen distracted by so many other things that God's word passed me by just like that and it was right under my roof. And to think I was all nasty that everyone else was sitted while I was busy moving up and down, well doing nothing exactly. But who told me to do it? fine I was hosting but I had prepared snacks so I dont have to keep moving up and down!

Luke 10: 38-42 At the Home of Martha and Mary
³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I should have chosen to sit and listen to God's word FIRST. But that is exactly how we allow ourselves to get distracted by things around us instead of pursuing God's own heart just like David. We always try to make everything just right 'running around' on our own trying to get the perfect car, the perfect job, the perfect spouse instead of just sitting at the feet of Jesus and waiting for Him to make things perfect at His own time! Mary chose the right thing, she chose to sit and listen to Jesus, even when she knew so well that her place was to help Martha in the kitchen, but hey, the dishes aint going anywhere that can wait!.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.
 Martha's character was also shown when Lazarus died. Read John 11: 1-44. Martha was anxious but some versions say Mary was still and even stayed at home when she heard Jesus was coming, no she didn't run around acting all crazy and shouting like Martha. So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. ²¹ Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.

I guess Mary was preparing her heart and praying because when Jesus asked for her she was ready to go and heard him call. (verse 28) and she didn't shout as Martha had done but bowed down and worshiped and Jesus feet. (verse 32)

I desire to have Mary's character as opposed to Martha's. I  long to sit at His feet and wait on Him instead of allowing myself to be distracted by the many earthly stuff. When everything goes crazy just like Mary I wanna be Still and wait upon Him instead of talking over God and missing out on what he has to tell me.

Mr. Pinger...

Picture this: 

Its a Friday Evening, you have no plot so you are just in your bedsitter (small studio apartment) doing your nails and re-watching homeland and scrubs (my all time favorite series). You keep checking your phone for new texts, even send a blank text to 144 just to ensure your phone is REALLY on. Then finally at midnight you retire to bed not believing that you are going to be indoors on a Friday night. Then you hear the beep, quickly check your phone and there a message from Ken. Ken is this guy who calls you on and off and sends you random messages once in a while proclaiming how much he misses you.

Ken: 'Hi.....'with the dots...meaning am open for communication 
You: 'Hi :)' with a smiley face...meaning am down for whatever 
Ken: 'Watchu up to?' (its midnight for crying out loud!).
You: 'Nothing just got home...'
Ken: 'Can I come over.....' more dots meaning you know the drill.
You: 'Sure....'with a bigger smiley face that has blushes on the cheeks.

At that point you jump out of bed to freshen up and change out of your 'bonyeza na safaricom' tshirt (you gotta loose all those promo tshirts by the way!) and head-stocking. Then do a bit of make up that suggests you were out, find your best set of lingerie because you wanna impress, quickly change your sheets and then horror of horrors you run to the fridge to defrost that chicken you were saving for special occasions. Imagine neighbours hearing clacking cooking pans at midnight! whew what madness is that? You prepare chicken and rice and wait for him, 1hour later he is there. You serve him a hot meal and give him the best sex ever you know styles that might even get you to the ER. 

So Ken requests to spend the rest of the night because its heading to four. You agree and then because you want to look all beautiful and don't wanna risk drooling and snoring, you don't even sleep, you just close your eyes like Snow white! madness its your own bed! At seven you run down to the tuckshop to buy eggs and milk come whip him the best breakfast and then morning glory, Jesus. The man is in heaven, then he dashes to the shower and leaves. He doesn't even leave cash to 'replenish' your fridge after greedily gobbling down that chicken. He has had free sex, free food, free breakfast! Then doesn't call for the next few weeks. Here is the news honey, you weren't in his FRIDAY PLAN he was STOOD UP by his main squeeze that's why he called you at midnight!. He leaves you there to clean up and broken-hearted. You have just been PINGED!

No, I didn't just describe myself :/

Who is a pinger and what is being pinged? Pinging is an IT term that according to my IT friend (thank you very much) means a computer network administration utility used to test whether a particular host is reachable across a network and to measure the round-trip time for packets. (I sound smart, no?) Okay I don't even understand what I just said! Sounds like jargon, yeah, yeah am not tech savvy either but I first heard this term from our IT guy, every time my computer is dead (when I have no internet I FORGET the rest of my computer still works so I raise hell) he says ping internal something and ping access (our service provider) ping gmail okay I am not making this up...that's what he actually says. Then I click on start, run, CMD (what does it even mean I think some sort of command prompt?) and that thing for pinging comes up..when it says reply from..there is net when it says request timed out there is no net and he will do something somewhere okay well I am loosing track of my story...

The pinger, just like in IT, this is a guy that is not really exclusive with you but keeps sending you texts to test if you will respond (host is reachable) and if your mood says come and rub my thigh (round-trip time). They want to keep you out there and available. He will send you random messages through the day like: Hey beautiful, I cant stop thinking about you. or I wanna see you but there is this project at work that is eating up my time.When you respond he knows that host is reachable and keeps that in mind.

How do you know he is a pinger? 

He is always busy.
First sign is that he NEVER has time for you. Everyone MAKES time for that which is important. If he is always too busy and you are the one who is doing the reaching out, run! When he reaches out he probably just wants to check if you are still waiting for his texts and needing him just to boost his ego. Some men are just outta this world!

He calls you for hook-ups late at night
So he doesn't plan to go out with you, but when all else fails he calls you at midnight and asks you out!. No you weren't on his mind, don't flatter yourself, he just scrolled his phone and your name popped up and since your network is always open he knows that you are down for whatever and you are good to go! I have become so paranoid that I don't do random dates, if you DON'T let me know in advance that you wanna see me I will just assume that I wasn't your main plan hence no matter how plotless I am, I would rather help baby girl catch the mosquitoes in the house (she loves to do that) than go on that last minute date with you.

He doesn't want to be seen with you in public
Yes, you are some sort of secret, just wants to come to your room and rub you up BUT never takes you out  even for a simple cup of coffee or never invites you to HIS crib. You don't know where he works, his life, his friends, his family as in his life is a total secret to you. You are unable to make conversation with each other because you don't know his interests and what ticks him.All he does is whisper lots of sweet nothings to keep you going.

You are never good enough for him
Every single day he criticizes your hairdo, says you are too skinny, or too fat or too dark or wishes you were more educated, or funnier or more talkative, or didn't have that accent or whatever else!  He doesn't want to be seen with you but still wants to roll in your sheets! This is one undecided man, and even if you start really dating, you will never be good enough for him.

Guess what? he will never ever commit! he wants to string you along for the days that he is lonely and has nothing to do! He already lost respect for you when he realized you entertain him. You clearly don't know your worth!. I have said it a million times, and I will say it again, know your worth according to God's worth. You are such a PRECIOUS JEWEL you don't have to throw yourself at a man or allow him to string you along if you don't want to. 

Let It GO and God will place someone worth while in your hand.