Mr. Pinger...

Picture this: 

Its a Friday Evening, you have no plot so you are just in your bedsitter (small studio apartment) doing your nails and re-watching homeland and scrubs (my all time favorite series). You keep checking your phone for new texts, even send a blank text to 144 just to ensure your phone is REALLY on. Then finally at midnight you retire to bed not believing that you are going to be indoors on a Friday night. Then you hear the beep, quickly check your phone and there a message from Ken. Ken is this guy who calls you on and off and sends you random messages once in a while proclaiming how much he misses you.

Ken: 'Hi.....'with the dots...meaning am open for communication 
You: 'Hi :)' with a smiley face...meaning am down for whatever 
Ken: 'Watchu up to?' (its midnight for crying out loud!).
You: 'Nothing just got home...'
Ken: 'Can I come over.....' more dots meaning you know the drill.
You: 'Sure....'with a bigger smiley face that has blushes on the cheeks.

At that point you jump out of bed to freshen up and change out of your 'bonyeza na safaricom' tshirt (you gotta loose all those promo tshirts by the way!) and head-stocking. Then do a bit of make up that suggests you were out, find your best set of lingerie because you wanna impress, quickly change your sheets and then horror of horrors you run to the fridge to defrost that chicken you were saving for special occasions. Imagine neighbours hearing clacking cooking pans at midnight! whew what madness is that? You prepare chicken and rice and wait for him, 1hour later he is there. You serve him a hot meal and give him the best sex ever you know styles that might even get you to the ER. 

So Ken requests to spend the rest of the night because its heading to four. You agree and then because you want to look all beautiful and don't wanna risk drooling and snoring, you don't even sleep, you just close your eyes like Snow white! madness its your own bed! At seven you run down to the tuckshop to buy eggs and milk come whip him the best breakfast and then morning glory, Jesus. The man is in heaven, then he dashes to the shower and leaves. He doesn't even leave cash to 'replenish' your fridge after greedily gobbling down that chicken. He has had free sex, free food, free breakfast! Then doesn't call for the next few weeks. Here is the news honey, you weren't in his FRIDAY PLAN he was STOOD UP by his main squeeze that's why he called you at midnight!. He leaves you there to clean up and broken-hearted. You have just been PINGED!

No, I didn't just describe myself :/

Who is a pinger and what is being pinged? Pinging is an IT term that according to my IT friend (thank you very much) means a computer network administration utility used to test whether a particular host is reachable across a network and to measure the round-trip time for packets. (I sound smart, no?) Okay I don't even understand what I just said! Sounds like jargon, yeah, yeah am not tech savvy either but I first heard this term from our IT guy, every time my computer is dead (when I have no internet I FORGET the rest of my computer still works so I raise hell) he says ping internal something and ping access (our service provider) ping gmail okay I am not making this up...that's what he actually says. Then I click on start, run, CMD (what does it even mean I think some sort of command prompt?) and that thing for pinging comes up..when it says reply from..there is net when it says request timed out there is no net and he will do something somewhere okay well I am loosing track of my story...

The pinger, just like in IT, this is a guy that is not really exclusive with you but keeps sending you texts to test if you will respond (host is reachable) and if your mood says come and rub my thigh (round-trip time). They want to keep you out there and available. He will send you random messages through the day like: Hey beautiful, I cant stop thinking about you. or I wanna see you but there is this project at work that is eating up my time.When you respond he knows that host is reachable and keeps that in mind.

How do you know he is a pinger? 

He is always busy.
First sign is that he NEVER has time for you. Everyone MAKES time for that which is important. If he is always too busy and you are the one who is doing the reaching out, run! When he reaches out he probably just wants to check if you are still waiting for his texts and needing him just to boost his ego. Some men are just outta this world!

He calls you for hook-ups late at night
So he doesn't plan to go out with you, but when all else fails he calls you at midnight and asks you out!. No you weren't on his mind, don't flatter yourself, he just scrolled his phone and your name popped up and since your network is always open he knows that you are down for whatever and you are good to go! I have become so paranoid that I don't do random dates, if you DON'T let me know in advance that you wanna see me I will just assume that I wasn't your main plan hence no matter how plotless I am, I would rather help baby girl catch the mosquitoes in the house (she loves to do that) than go on that last minute date with you.

He doesn't want to be seen with you in public
Yes, you are some sort of secret, just wants to come to your room and rub you up BUT never takes you out  even for a simple cup of coffee or never invites you to HIS crib. You don't know where he works, his life, his friends, his family as in his life is a total secret to you. You are unable to make conversation with each other because you don't know his interests and what ticks him.All he does is whisper lots of sweet nothings to keep you going.

You are never good enough for him
Every single day he criticizes your hairdo, says you are too skinny, or too fat or too dark or wishes you were more educated, or funnier or more talkative, or didn't have that accent or whatever else!  He doesn't want to be seen with you but still wants to roll in your sheets! This is one undecided man, and even if you start really dating, you will never be good enough for him.

Guess what? he will never ever commit! he wants to string you along for the days that he is lonely and has nothing to do! He already lost respect for you when he realized you entertain him. You clearly don't know your worth!. I have said it a million times, and I will say it again, know your worth according to God's worth. You are such a PRECIOUS JEWEL you don't have to throw yourself at a man or allow him to string you along if you don't want to. 

Let It GO and God will place someone worth while in your hand.