Why am I still single?

Have you ever asked yourself this question? You have dated COUNTLESS men but there is always an ALMOST in every relationship. He almost committed then backed down. He almost engaged you then suddenly changed, he almost went past hello then something drew him away. Some people are single by choice and love the independence that comes with being single. Some can't get over a past hurt and are yet to fix their world together. BUT some people are single unwillingly! Some have tried to get into relationships and just when things start to get serious he/she goes cold on you, stops picking your calls or is just not the same again. 

Here is why you might still be single: 

Soul ties: 

We all have been in different relationships before,  some sexual some not. Most sexual relations end up creating ungodly soul ties and to move on in life you have to break the soul ties. I blogged about that here: Of Soul Ties Ensure that you are completely disconnected from people from your past because they could be hindering your future! 

Continuing to engage in sex:

So you have chosen a new path but still keep looking over your shoulder. You have several randoms that you keep engaging in sex with. It is extremely important to stay pure and/or practice secondary virginity even as you wait on God for that special someone. 1st Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Listen there is a difference between dating a God fearing man and a random. A random will push you for sex every single day BUT a God fearing man will always put GOD FIRST and then you. HE will RESPECT your purity and not try to UNDRESS YOU. He will always be in control. 

Having idols  in the heart:

What takes up most of your time? What do you like to do that you would rather do than stay at the feet of Jesus? You met a man but do not love that man for who he is but for what he has, maybe a prestigious job or a great car or he is hot! If all that is stripped away would you still love him? Sometimes we allow things to distract us, and eventually end up blinding us. You should always pray to GOD to take away every distraction from your heart, it is good to have a list of qualities to look for, but do not let physical things be a priority! Put GOD FIRST and everything else will come into place. Serve in church because you want to LIVE for him and not because you are looking to meet someone.

Ministry dating:

 I cannot stress this enough. Do not allow yourself to be unequally yoked. 2nd Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?…. Women like to date worldly men and we all do the all time popular thing, and say oh I will pray for him and he will soon get saved. This is what I like to call ministry dating. You date and hope to minister to them to change. Why not just associate yourself with God fearing men instead and purpose to be in the circle of Godly men? Don’t get me wrong it is OKAY to want to pray for people to change BUT do not get into an UNGODLY relationship with the HOPE of PRAYING for them to change. You will walk down that aisle with that alcoholic or whatever else and you will BLOCK all your prayers and blessings thereafter cuz that Honey you did KNOWINGLY.

Being Modest:

My sister says that I have grown old because these days I express my shock when I see extremely short skirts, you know. When I was younger I would go out in a very short skirt and low cut tops and feel nothing even if heads turn. These days the shortest I can do is just above the knee, you know those official skirts. Modesty is however a very sensitive subject especially for  the fashion conscious women. But I do believe that modesty is something that has to be addressed, traditional or not, why show all that skin? 1st Timothy 2: 9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, Cover up to avoid leading our men into temptations and risk being labelled a woman of loose morals. Proverbs 7:10 And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart. I am certain that men want to wife a woman that is well covered up. 

Family patterns:

Generational curses are real and do exist! Have you ever seen a certain pattern repeating itself in your family? Broken marriages, childlessness, not being married at all? Well you need to take action and arise against every demonic forces of generational curses. God has given us the power to Pluck and to destroy (Jeremiah 1:10) and you also have the power over scorpions and serpents Luke 10: 19 Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.. Do not fear, take your place in the Kingdom and involve a spiritual authority if you must, but be extremely careful before breaking any altars. Seek advise from your church or pastor.

Finally:

Go out and meet people! He will not just come to you honey. Do something don’t just sit there and wait for him let him find you busy doing something. Dress up like you have a date every day, take care of your body and skin! Loose that old tshirt (The famous Seng'enge ni Ng'ombe you know, that one) and that faded shirt that you love. Refresh your wardrobe once in a while. It’s okay to spoil yourself, really it is. Set your standards and stick to them. I love my 'me time' and I think I have become too comfortable with being alone, doing my reading and my time with God that I cannot imagine another person entering my space and all that. I guess I have to work on that, uh? 

Always remember that God's timing is perfect and he always makes all things beautiful at his own time! Even when he is four days late (40years) he is still on time, so hang on, help is on its way!