Crawl out of that situationship!

It has been said that men know where they are at with a lady within the first 15minutes of a date. Wait I think 15 is too much. Men refuse to get emotionally attached because they want to not feel guilty when they hop on to the next hot thing in town. They want to be free to date other girls, why? Because he hasn’t committed to anyone yet.  Men can be crafty and will want to sugar coat a whole deal for you, you know make you give up the cookie without feeling like a whore or rather a girl with loose morals. See they invented a thing called Friends with Benefits or No-Strings attached, they call you friend, better still, BFF.  I once blogged about no strings attached here No Strings Attached and how women scientifically unknowingly get attached thanks to the hormones they release during sex that makes women get attached to men they are sexing. But fact is, you cannot give a man who is ‘just a friend’ husband benefits and expect him to commit, uh? No let’s break it down honey. 

You ain’t going nowhere with this

Men know what they want in a woman, i.e type. Every single man knows without having to second guess if he is a boob guy or an ass guy, whether he prefers the brains or looks. He can tell which of his selection is a date, a random and wife material. Do not be fooled. They say if a man wants you he will pursue you, if he wants to be with you NOTHING will keep him away. Not even the fear of being turned down.  He will literally hunt you down. If he doesn't want you for keeps (strings attached) he will not even bother to try and match up to you. You know, he will take you to places he likes, not to places YOU like, and while you are there he will keep looking over his shoulder lest someone (another of his many strings) bumps into you. So when you are not in bed, he is uneasy/in a hurry. If he is nice enough (rare kind) he will take you out for coffee but still say nothing by the time he is done with you, you will have taken so much coffee until it (ze coffee) oozes out of your ears you know.This right here honey is what I like to call a Situationship and what's more? You have invested 100% in THAT situationship! Thing is the woman will be in it 100% and the man? 20% with you (FWB), 45% with Laila (his ex that broke his heart), 15% with Felisha (his secret crush, well the woman he wishes he would hit but can't) and boom the other 25% is left open you know for the women he is YET to meet. Great.

You are hooked:

Visualize this, every time he thinks about you he is either bored or bored. He will call you up just so he can keep the situationship open, a polite way of telling you to keep the cookie ready for when he wants it. He will want to get you all motchy motchy. So he cuddles you after sex, remembers your birthday, uses up all his airtime on you, makes you so comfortable that you can fart infront of him and just say oops, thing is, he is just playing you! When you try to have a serious conversation he just switches off to the nothing box and will not remember a thing you just told him even if you told him Shekau is after you and your entire kin. You didn’t even know he likes to do stuff, he always says he is busy and spends most of his time working or watching stuff on TV. Then you bump into him doing REAL stuff like bowling with someone else, mm that makes you the biggest side dish ever. You are only good for the bed honey.

Just let it go!

You say that he keeps calling that is why you can’t let it go, so he makes you pick up? Honey you are the one that picks up just like you are the one that goes crawling back when he goes cold for a few days then gets horny and calls you. Why would you want to be cool with such a guy? He is not your friend! He is just stringing you along for HIS convenience. You know the way a kid has many toys and there is one that has collected dust from never being used, then you try to take it away from him? He will scream and fight to keep it, NOT because he needs it, but because he doesn’t want to see ANY of his collection taken away. Katcha! That’s exactly what you are to that guy, except that you haven't collected any dust yet because he is still USING you. 

Bottomline: Borrowed From Rachel's advise: he is just not that into you...

Friends with Benefits BENEFITS NO ONE! Somebody always ends up hurt. “Lets still be friends” almost always means he wants to explore his other options, but in case one of his Plan A’s don’t work out, he will still have this totally awesome girl in his Plan B “Friends” category that he KNOWS still has feelings for him. So yes, you will get the call at 11:45pm..but you will probably not see the happy Facebook official ending you are secretly still hoping for.

He will always be able to play the "friend" card on you.  He only  has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the far greater expectations of a boyfriend.  He's got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants to.  He may be one of your closest friends, but I'm sorry to say ... as a boyfriend, he's just not that into you